In Robin Dembroff and Daniel Wodak's article, "He/She/They/Ze", the authors dive deep into the modern world and use of preferred pronouns. They make claims that we should respect others' pronouns, something that I of course whole-heartedly agree with. Each and every person, no matter if they are transgender or non-binary or anything else, has preferred pronouns. Plus, calling someone by the pronouns they prefer is such an easy and simple thing to do. For those who refuse to respect others' preferred pronouns, they are just going out of their way to be unkind and mean.
In the article though, the authors make another claim. This is, as they call it, the radical claim. The radical claim is that "we have a negative duty to not to use any gender-specific pronouns to refer to anyone, regardless of their gender identity" (371). The authors make several points to uphold this claim. By not referring to anyone with a specific gender pronoun, then there would be no misgendering and no hurting others. In section 4.2, they discuss privacy as well. Without the gender-specific pronouns, people who do not feel comfortable disclosing personal information to others would not feel the pressure to. They give the example of a gay man preparing to go on a vacation with his partner when a coworker misgenders his partner. Either he says nothing and just agrees, or he has to tell his coworker that his partner is a "he" rather than a "she" (392). Another point that is brought up is the gendering of specific words we have in the English language. Things like "waiter" and "waitress". Dembroff and Wodak argue that to gender these things are harmful and perpetuates certain stereotypes about gender we have. They also say that to eliminate gender-specific pronouns would not entirely solve this issue, but it could be a step in the right direction (398). Overall, the authors are arguing in their radical claim that we may come to abolish gender-specific pronouns.
I am not totally sure how I feel about this argument as a whole. I think it does make some good points that I do agree with. For example, I think using pronouns that are not gender-specific would be helpful in not prying in a person's personal business. It also is helpful in forgoing the issue of misgendering a person. If there are no gender-specific pronouns, then there is no worry that a person may be misgendered. But this is where I start to fall down the rabbit hole because I think if there are no gender-specific pronouns, then what even is gender? I already see how gender is fluid and people can identify however they choose, but then that makes me think the radical argument may be problematic. We tell people to feel free expressing themselves and that gender is a spectrum. But if they want to identify with a specific gender, then using pronouns that do not align with gender could be harmful. I believe that many transgender people want others to use their pronouns to respect them and give a sense of confirmation. By throwing gender-specific pronouns out the window, I feel could be extremely harmful to people who have come out and now identify with a specific gender.
I do see many issues in our society that revolve around gender. People disrespect others' preferred pronouns, certain clothes, activities, jobs, etc. are deemed for certain genders, and overall some people are just so freaked out over the idea of others being different than them. I think this article makes some good points and I think the use of pronouns that are not gender-specific is not a bad thing totally. But I think there are issues with it as well. I would never want to contribute more to someone's gender dysphoria by using pronouns that are not gender-specific to the gender they identify with. I think the article was a great read and it opened my eyes to certain aspects. However, I will continue to ask people what their preferred pronouns are and try to use pronouns that are not gender-specific when talking to someone who uses them, asking questions about a person who I am unsure of their gender, and certain other instances where it would make sense to do so.
Hi Bri,
ReplyDeleteReading your post made me think that perhaps a reasonable response to Dembroff and Wodak's point about the *personal* nature of personal pronouns could be to be more careful about when and how we put people on the spot to disclose their gender identities. So while it could be inappropriate for me to ask all of my students to state their preferred pronouns in front of the entire class on the first day of a course, maybe there are circumstances where it would not be rude, and would actually be helpful, to skillfully invite people to share their pronouns with you. I remember being stunned as a small child playing on the playground when one of my little classmates asked me if I was a boy or a girl. It strikes me that there are probably more and less trust-inspiring ways to ask for information about someone's gender. Do you have any particularly skillful ways of doing this that you could share?